Setting our Eyes on Success

Hello wonderful blogging buddies. I know this blog is about a week overdue, but it's taken me that long to be able to get to the point of wanting to write about about our OB visit.

First let me say that Zach is still doing great. He's active and the doc says he sounds great and we're measuring on track. Praise God for that!!

Zach's Mommy had a bit of a breakdown in the OB office last week; and ladies, it wasn't pretty! Man, I was never this emotional or hormonal with Olivia. What they say is true, carrying a boy vs. carrying a girl is completely different!!

Well, I didn't see my primary OB at last week's visit. Instead I was scheduled to see a different doctor, one I didn't exactly hit it off with when I was pregnant with Olivia. Well, I started by asking the nurse about my concerns and immediately fell into tears. She was very comforting and encouraged me to talk to the doctor. I took her advice and when the doctor came in expressed my concerns about the group's support in my desire to have a VBAC. His reaction was less than comforting, however he did shed much light on our situation that I had never been made aware of.

He reviewed my file to find that it wasn't because of Olivia position that we were encouraged to have a c-section. Instead it was because of the shape and size of my pelvis. Well, as you can imagine, this was frustrating to me. Why wasn't that explained to me at the time of delivery? Why wasn't that explained to us when we first mentioned VBAC?

As I left the office, still sobbing because of the unwelcomed news and the doctor's lack of compassion and understanding, my favorite nurse (Gail - she's the one who confirmed Olivia's pregnancy and was my nurse throughout that pregnancy) pulled me aside and told me that she was available to talk.

She was great. She too had an emergency c-section with her first, and opted for a second c-section with her second. She completely understood my fear of surgery and my disappointment in not "birthing" Olivia. She encouraged me that for my situation, a c-section would be a much happier option in the end. And she promised me that a scheduled section was completely different than an emergency one.

She then encouraged me to talk to my Primary doctor, and I did. While I was a little disappointed in Dr. Moore's approach, he did help me to understand that it was my body make-up, not my determination to give birth vaginally, that would ultimately determine the course for delivery. He said that he'd continue to support me if VBAC was the method I'd like to try, but he cautioned that my chances were very slim.

It's taken me about a week to digest all of this. When I left his office, I was determined to change practices. But as I reflected and prayed, I believe that we'll stay where we are. I trust that God will allow us the best delivery possible, and I put our fate into His hands. So, whether it be a VBAC or a second C-section, we give our concerns and worries to the Lord and know that He will deliver us all healthy and happy in the end.

So, we appreciate all of your prayers and encouragement. I believe that Zach has his own plans in mind. He's already helping me prepare for a possible C-section b/c he refuses to turn around and get his feet out of my pelvis. He'll probably stay breech long enough to help me come to grips with the possiblity..and then who know what he'll do - he is a man after all!

Stay tuned, nursery delimas to come!!