What I Love Most About Being Pregnant

As the last days of pregnancy draw to a close, I sit and wonder if I'll ever experience this again. Only time will tell whether or not we're a family of four or destined for more. The thought of never being pregnant again saddens me and almost brings tears to my eyes. Yes, there are many things that are easy to complain about. Sore backs, sour stomachs, scary stretch marks, and my favorite - indigestion!!! But those things are minute to the wonderful feelings that come from carrying your child inside of you.

Pregnancy brings about an excitement that is contageous. From the first sign that appears on that coveted little test, to the first time you hear a heart beat, to seeing that beautiful little alien face and knowing that you're making life, pregnancy is the greatest blessing that we as women are given.

My second pregnancy has definitely been different than the first. With Olivia, I was all giggles and don't think that I thought of anything for 9 months other than my baby. I dreamed of her day and night, and worried just as much. Can I do this? Will she like me? Will she be healthy? Can I raise her the way God intends? Amidst all of the excitment, you can't help but be scared of how much your life will change. But life does change. It's brilliantly different and more spectacular than I could have ever imagined.

Pregnacy with Zach has brought some of the same emotions, but I feel that I'm wiser now. Yes, I do worry about him, but in a realistic way. I do think about him day and night, but now I daydream of him laughing at his big sister and reaching for his Daddy. Zach is not only a gift to Josh and I, but also to Olivia. To think of my baby girl as a big sister - Wow!!! She's going to be great! She has so much love and happiness in her soul that she's sure to be Zach's biggest fan!!!

I think that the thing that I love most about pregancy is something that a very good friend told me very early on in my first pregnancy. For a short while, you walk through life knowing that you're never alone! How amazing is that! As my family sleeps upstairs, I sit here with my son and cherish the final days that I'll have him all to myself. Soon I'll have to share him with the family, with friends, and with life. He'll grow and change and eventually he'll be Olivia's age and want to do everything himself. As mothers, we go from dedicating our bodies to creating a child, to dedicating our lives to raising a child, to stepping back in the end and letting go. It's a very good thing that God made us strong - only mothers could bear such trials.

So to my son I say:

Mommy loves you Baby Boy, and I can't wait to meet you. You are already the perfect addition to our family, and we thank God for you every day. I pray that I can be the mother that you deserve. You are sure to be a strong and smart like your father, happy and loving like your sister, and if you are like me at all, I pray that you'll always follow your heart and know that you were raised by parents who love everything about you.

Until we meet, sleep tight little man! This big world is waiting on you, and Mommy has been saving kisses for 9 months just for you! I love you, Zachary!!!

Ever so close

With only 16 days to go, we're feeling the looming pressure of getting ready for our newest arrival. How can you go from an anal mother-to-be who has everything planned to the T to a Mommy of 1 who wings everything at the last minute??? Well, I don't know how, but that's me!!! I would have flipped had I been so behind before Olivia was born - but I hope it's not a sign of things to come with Zach!

Honey, Mommy promises that as soon as you're here, she will not procrastinate any more - you'll be her number one - or at least tied for number one!

Well, we're still set for the 7th. We go back on Wednesday for the "Up Close & Personal" visit! Boy, haven't had one of those in a while!!! We're crossing our fingers for progress, but realistically, we don't expect to see any. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks, some of which are very strong, but nothing to make me think that I'm dilating any!

Zach is a hyper as ever...only now he takes my breath every time he moves. He's so big and so rowdy - there's not enough room for him AND my lungs!!!!

We did "finish" his room. We still have to hang the curtain and put up the ceiling fan, but overall it's done. I really like it and can't wait to share pictures! I think I'm more excited about airplanes that I was about butterflies!!!

Olivia is still doing great. She's learned to burp her baby doll, so I'm sure she'll be a big helper when Zach arrives. Josh is BUSY!!! His weekends are usually full of different types of commitments, but he's taking 3 weeks off to be home with me, Livi, and Zach! I can't wait for that!!!

I have to be honest - I'm tired!!! It's 11:35 and I should be in bed, but having the quiet house to myself while everyone is sleeping is rather peaceful. Even Zach's calm and still!!! I'm really hoping to finish all of my deadlines at work so that I can take a few days off before his birth. Right now I just feel like I need some "down" time!!!

On a brighter side, I was able to hang with the Ladies from church tonight. We get together once a month and gab (mostly about kids) and enjoy time away from the hubbies and wee-ones! I always enjoy myself, and it was a much needed escape after a stressful day at work. Zach was treated to Strawberry Shortcake for dessert - and he LOVED it!!!

In exactly 15 days and 9 hours I will no longer be pregnant and I will finally meet my baby boy!!! The clock is ticking - and despite not being ready - I'm SO READY!!!

35 Days and Counting

When a lady at work asked me how many days I had left to go, I quickly added it up and almost hyperventilated when the words 35 came of my mouth. Don't pay attention to the clicker at the top of the page. It's officially wrong. Here's the update.

We visited a specialist 3 weeks ago because the doc said that Zach was measuring a little big. That ultra sound showed that he was almost a week bigger than his date, but he was within limits of human error - so all is well. The most disturbing news was that he's breach. Honestly, I had a very strong feeling that this might be the case. I could feel his feet right in my pelvis. Either he was breach or he kept his hands above his head all the time!!

So, after visiting with my doc the following week, we agreed to schedule a c-section. After much prayer, I'm finally coming to terms with this decision, but continue to pray about it daily. Zach's birthday will be Thursday, June 7, 2007. He will share a birthday with my friend, Mandy Gregory, and it's official, Steve (Angela's Husband) has won that portion of the baby pool!

We were surprised a few weekends ago with a shower for Zach. I can't believe my family and friends actually pulled it off. I'm still thanking my lucky stars that I had enough energy to get up and get ready that morning. Usually on Saturdays I bum around in house clothes all day!! We got tons of cute outfits and lots of other goodies. And the food was great!!! It was really just nice to spend time with family and friends.

Josh is upstairs now taping the walls in Zach's room. I've decided on three colors that we'll use, and hopefully the room will be painted by the week's end. I'll send photos once it's complete.

I still can't believe that in just 5 short weeks our lives will once again change forever. I can't even imagine what life will be like with a new baby!! I do remembe r having these same thoughts with Olivia, so that calms me quite a bit. Just pray that Olivia adjusts well. We've been having major attachment issues with her recently. For the first time, tonight she actually played with Daddy and didn't pull me around the house and make me hold her all evening!

I thought I'd post a picture of me pregnant...there are very few of these and this isn't a great one. We still have to do our official "pregnancy" shots...and we're running out of time. This was taken Saturday night at my cousin Amber's Sweet Sixteen party. Olivia and I were jamming to the music!

Hope all of you are well!!! Thanks for hanging in there with me on my long hiatus from the blogging world.